As I sit here typing away by oil lamp light, I ponder over the changes that have become the normality of these modern times. Some are good, others not so much, at least in my humble opinion. For example while I feel that women having a voice is an improvement, considering I am a strong willed, opinionated female, I feel that it is a great disadvantage that we now instead of courting have dating...
I have nothing against anyone that prefers dating persay but let us look at the reality of what that actually is. Dating is the hanging out of two people in an intimate manner without commitment or expectations of the future. Whereas courting was what came after getting to know someone as a close friend, deciding to take that next step and committing to that person. Then begining to get to know them better without the intimacy before marriage but rather with the expectation of a possible marriage proposal in the future.
Nowadays people do not take thier time, life has become rushed, everything is about instant gratification with little to no effort. In the dating world people are not looking for marriage, or to really know the person they are with, they are looking for the fastest easiest way to get physical pleasure out of someone before moving on to the next pasture for more milk.
Women are raised to think its the norm to just give it up with no expectation of being treated properly, let alone marriage first. They do not look at actual prospects since they are told the only thing that matters is how good a guy is in bed. We have gone to a completely polar extreme in how we raise our girls, and it is ever more apparent when we look at any lil girl's clothing section in the average department store. Little girls of 8 and even younger are being sold belly shirts, miniskirts, daisy dukes, bikinis, and worse. They are little girls and the fashion industry is dressing them like prosititutes! What does this teach them? It teaches them that all that matters is sex and sex appeal. This in turn is all that dating is about also, sex and sex appeal, no commitments, no expectations, no thoughts on the future at all.. just instant gratification.
While for women dating has become about objectification and trying to become a tool for the sexual release of thier male peers. For men it is completely different, men are raised to simple expect sex. Everything around them has become hyper sexualized with a heavy focus on men receiving it whenever they want or ask. This has over time created a major increase in men that are crude, rude, expectant, and abusive. It really is no wonder that over the past decade alone the number of criminal sex offenders has increased tenfold.
Courting on the other hand is a good deal different, it focuses not on the instant personal gratification of ones physical needs but rather on the cultivation of a deep lasting relationship. Courting is about getting to know the person you are attracted to as a person not a tool to be used towards your own release.
In the days of courting, women took pride in raising thier young to have manners, grace, to emphasize thier skills at homemaking and artistic hobbies for the girls, and the ability to be a gentleman, a good provider and protector for the boys. Courting could take months, even a few years before an engagement was proposed or accepted. While engagement was usually on the short side, the time was taken to really know each other before taking the plunge. Relationships were longer lasting and stronger when this time was taken.
Bounderies and rules were in place to keep everyone proper and well mannered. A rather radical bit of rules that would be considered prudish nowadays, such as no holding hands before engagement, only side hugs no frontal, chaperones at all times, no kissing, and no being in a room alone together. I rather doubt most people in this modern age could handle it to be quite honest.
It is, in my personal view, a very sad day that this time, paitence, and manner of relationship is nearly gone now.
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